Matchmaking is a Cliche
by Prinnyramza
Summary: "Every girl here is after my brother's dick." Tomoko has a plan. (We need more character tags)


"Every girl here is after my brother's dick." It was a rare occasion that the girl with huge bags under her eyes would actually raise her voice in such a public place. She was in the dead center of her classroom. It did help that she stood in front of two familiar girls, one with black hair tied two pigtails and a brown hair girl with freckles.

"Hello." The twin tailed girl sighed and greeted. Why exactly was Yuri friends with this degenerate? Oh right, because she was trash who needed to stick around with other trash. It was her place in the world. "Tomoko."

"I thought it was bad enough with the dick duo but it turns out he's pretty popular." The girl took a moment to curse how none of that luck seem to go towards her. "I mean, it's not like I'm jealous or anything. I just can't have some bitch take advantage of my little brother for his man meat. Kurokis don't get NTR'd."

"Oh." Yuri didn't feel the need to say anything else. Better just let her friend rant until she tuckered herself out.

"Kuroki. I don't know if I can relate. I don't have any younger siblings," The brown haired girl tossed in her two cents "but I'm sure if he's anything like you that he'll choose a kind friendly girl."

Tomoko grinned. "Of course he will. He's gonna choose Tamura."

Come again?

"I know that she's has trouble getting along with all those normal folk, but she's the type I can trust with my younger brother." Tomoko leaned forward and explained.

Shit, Yuri really didn't really want to look happy with how much Tomoko seemed to actually trust her. She didn't want to even give the smile that her lips was threatening to form. There was no way in hell she was going to seduce Tomoko's younger brother. That seemed like too much work, "What about Yoshida or Mako?"

The brown hair girl stepped aside and shot Yuri a nervous look. She obvious didn't foresee herself being thrown under the bus.

"Are you trying to get my brother molested? That delinquent will probably get her gang together, force Tomoki to pull his pants down in the gym shed and take turns sitting on his face." She would know, she've read doujin with that exact premise.

"She wouldn't do that." Yuri said. Probably, she probably wouldn't do that. Either way she had to make sure Tomoko didn't say any of that to Yoshida, herself.

"And Tanaka-" was a gigantic lesbian, "Anyway that just leaves you."

Mako tilted her head. Kuroki just kind of looked at her and that moved on. What exactly did the green eye girl think of her that caused her to be passed over as a candidate?

"Nah, I'm going to sit this one out." Yuri waved her off.

"Come on. Most girls love having their sisters in law blessing." Tomoko said as if she thought that Tamura would magically agree to seducing her brother.

"Sister in law?" Yuri sweated. How the hell did they go from Yuri asking him out all the way to marriage?

Before anything else could be said the teacher came in, ending the trio's lunch period. That of course wasn't the end of it. The day ended and the students packed up. Two of the three girls met up by the lockers.

"Hey Yuri, Kuroki isn't walking with us today?"

"Don't know."

"You want to wait for her?"

Yuri reached into her locker anyway and reached for her outdoor shoes. She found something stuck on them. It didn't keep her from pulling her footwear out but it did cause some resistance. She seperated it with all hand, and pull her shoes out with the other. It was a envelope.

"Wow, what's that?" Mako leaned forward, getting a good look at the message. It was sealed and didn't have any writing on the outside.

"Don't know." The pig tail girl just stared at the lump of paper. She breathed in, breathed out and slide the entire thing into someone else's locker. "Let's go."

Mako was stuck silent for a moment. By the time she could let out a shriek of "Yuri," her friend had already stuck her shoes on and started to strut out of school. The freckled girl had to jog for a moment to catch up.

A cliche had to be a cliche for reason, right?

A confession on a rooftop was so anime that it hurt, but it had to be effective. That's why Tomoko went through the effort of sneaking around and stuffing letters inviting both her little brother and friend up there. It didn't really matter that Yuri wasn't exactly into the idea of getting with her brother, Tomoko didn't think the girl would know how to reject someone.

There was one issue however, namely where the fuck was Yuri? Where was her younger brother for that matter? How could he not want to see whoever wrote that note for him. Knowing him, he probably had so much pairs of tits flocking towards him that he decided that a few of them could be ignored.

How cruel. She should probably do the responsible big sister thing and beat the shit out of him. She didn't care if the little shit was much bigger than she was. Tomoki had to sleep sometime.

"Tomoko." She really hoped that was just the wind, because if that was someone actually whispering in her ear than this would be the creepiest moment of her life.

Nope, those were hands.

Those were hands on her shoulders.

Tomoko had no idea how anyone could sneak pass her. She was hiding behind the ac unit and had a clear view of the only door leading up here. There shouldn't have been a way for someone to slip pass her.

The loner stepped forward but the hands on her shoulder were definitely real and definitely stopping her from quickly escaping. She had to break away. She was not going to get molested on the school's roof by some random asshole.

The appendages flicked off as Kuroki twisted around and faced her assailant. She was expecting a random ass hole and she got a random asshole. It was that girl, the one she was stuck with during her last field trip. The only one of the three who hadn't ended up making a lasting impact in her life. The emoji girl.

She probably had a name, but Tomoko knew her as emoji girl.

"What the hell did you want?" was what Tomoko wanted to say, but instead what came out was the tiniest "Hi."

"I got your letter" Ucchi leaned towards Tomoko.

"What the fuck are you talking about" was again what Tomoko wanted to say, but she substitutes it out with a more vague and much more polite "What?"

The emote was smiling. A smile that didn't change at all when she lifted up a plain white envelope that despite of, or maybe because of it's plainness, Tomoko recognized. "I got both of them?"

"Both?" Tomoko squeaked.

With a flick of the emoji's fingers, the loner could tell that it wasn't one but two letters stacked on top of each other. Why did she have one, let alone two of her love notes?

"Tomoko, I'm so surprised." Emiri Ucchi expression didn't change as she waved the envelopes.

Oh shit, this girl was going to end up thinking she was a massive lesbian, stalking her every move. Tomoko hasn't tried her hardest to maintain a relationship with this girl, but she was confident that she did a okay job convincing her she was a normal, if socially awkward girl.

She had to somehow bullshit her way out of this situation. "Wait-" was what she got out but she soon felt her tongue hit against a finger. Emiri had place her pointer on Kuroki's lips. "After all. I thought you were going to continue fooling around with all the other girls you liked."

They say that no plan survives contact with the enemy. Any plans that Tomoko would have conceived imploded on itself as soon as the girl uttered those words.

"What?" Tomoko squeaked once more.

The emoji shushed her, "but I'm happy you decided to stop messing around. You can't back down now and cheat on me. I won't let you."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?" is what Tomoko wanted to say, "What?" is what Tomoko would've said, but what came out of Tomoko's mouth was a whole lot of nothing.

Instead Ucchi's tongue went in.

The next day, Tomoko approached Yuri again. She looked just as horrified as yesterday but in a completely different manner. She was angry before, but than she looked shellshock, like she just saw a man die.

This time instead of shouting before she was completely in front of Yuri, she stood there, staring. Yuri paused as Tomoko eyes wandered around her face for a good minute. The pigtail girl opened her mouth.

Tomomo interrupted, "Yuri, why weren't you there on the roof yesterday? I left you a letter? Didn't you see the letter?"

"I thought that your brother wrote the letter." Yuri shrugged.

"Don't bullshit me. I wrote the note. Both of us know I wrote the note." Tomoko pointed between herself and her friend, "Do you know what I went though because you completely skipped out on the invitation?"

Yuri raised an eyebrow, "What did you go through?"

Tomoko opened her mouth, but before she could speak she saw something in the corner of her eye.

That crazy emote was peeking her head out from the hall doorway. She winked at Kuroki.

"Nothing." Tomoko tried to ignore a spasm that shot down her spine, "Not a damn thing."

Yuri turned her head over where her friend not so subtly gazed at and saw no one. The girl shrugged.

"Anyway" Tomoko laughed nervously, "How about my brother?"

"I'm not really interested." Yuri tried to explain the apparently blasphemous idea.

"You have to think about it. I mean some girls think you're already close to him anyway." Tomoko explained, "Like Komi whatsherface. She was asking questions about you the other day. She even called you a bitch."

Yuri scrunched up her face for a moment, before relaxing. Getting mad at hearsay was not worth the effort. "I have absolutely no idea where she's coming from."

"Ya ya, I already heard you're not hard for my brother like the local female population is," Whether Yuri had any actually feelings for her brother wasn't Tomoko's main concern, "but are you going to sit back while she talks about you behind your back? You got to rub this in her face."

"I don't care what this girl thinks of me." Yuri rolled her eyes, "It's not like I'm going to pull a 180 and ask out your brother just to irritate someone."

There was a sharp laughter. Yuri's head snapped to the direction of the uproar. She saw the source, an admittedly attractive girl. Her features were standardized beauty with the exception of her tiny fangs which enhanced her cute looks more than hindered them.

The fanged teen leaned over to another student, a girl with hair tied up. The strands resembled the leaves on a pineapple. "Oh my gosh, have you seen the soccer team?"

"Why are you talking to me?" Akane shot back.

If Minami heard her, than she had disregarded the rude remark as unimportant. "I just love those uniforms and how they fit. Especially on this one guy. I think he's in the year below us. His name is Tomo Kuroki or something like that."

"I really don't care."

"I usually don't go for younger guys, but his guy is just the cutest. I think I might go completely cougar and snatch him up." Minami explained excitedly.

"You are the worst replacement Nemoto I could've picked." Akane said as if she had gone through that thought many times before.

"It was just meant to be." Minami expressed her desire.

Yuri looked at the snaggletooth and than looked at her friend, "Actually Tomoko, maybe I could just talk with your brother."

She hadn't expected to get an eyeful of the smuggest expression possible, "Oh you gave in to it. The spite."

"Oh, Tomoko. I didn't mean it." She was joking. She had to have her believe that the brief moment of weakness was a complete joke.

"No, I got it. After years of being a loner, watching all those normies acting all high and mighty, I've learned a few things. Spite, spite is a great motivator" Tomoko absorbed the wonderful moment she was experiencing. "Yuri, I'm glad we're friends."

"I've made a mistake, but I think it's too late to back out now." She couldn't be bothered to look upset at that revelation. Quiet acceptance was her forte.

Tomoko tapped her nose. Yuri could've sworn that she saw spirals in her eyes."Yup, you're in it now."

"Yuri take out your earbuds. He's going to be out here in a second." Tomoko hissed. Of course her hissing was considerable louder than her voice normally was. She was lucky that no one paid her any attention otherwise she would have looked massively suspicious whispering to her buddy from behind a corner.

Yui kept one hand in her pocket but with the other tugged on the bottom of the earbud cord and pulled. They tapped on the ground and she casually balled them up in her lefty before stuffing them in her pocket. Tamura sighed and stepped into the middle of the hall.

She was right in the path of the spear counterpart of her friend. It was actually a bit funny. He looked just like her, just taller with a shorter haircut. He even had the same bags underneath his eyes.

"Hey." She said more to the ground than to him. Tomoki didn't even really hear her. All he saw was a girl in his path and assumed that she was saying "excuse me" or something along the lines ot that. He tried to sidestep her, but she stepped to mirror him. He stepped back and she followed. The third time, he realized this wasn't just a awkward moment in the hall.

"What?" He asked. Much more blunt than "What do you want" or "whats up", but it conveyed his inquiry just as well.

Yuri looked away. Was it too late to back out. She went ahead and intercepted him but she had no idea what she was suppose to do.

"Tomoko's brother." Tomura silently cursed. She didn't know this guy's name. Which made her seduction mission a million times harder. She sighed and stated. "You skipped out on our date."

"What?" It was less of a question and more like a noise he just made. A small comfort against the completely unexpected line.

"Oh wait, we must have made those plans in my dream." That might've been smoother if she had said it to him instead of muttering it in her palms. Probably not though, that was pretty lame.

"What?" The Kuroki boy made use of the rule of three. He looked like he was already losing patience if the similarly unexpected antics.

Yuri felt a thud on her back. It hadn't hurt but it was so surprising that she still let out a soft "ow." She almost looked back at her friend before remembering a small detail. "I think I'm supposed to spin now."

"What the hell do you mean 'suppose to?'" Tomoki felt a small twitch in his eye.

Yuri didn't answer, instead she acted. It wasn't what you could really call 'a twirl', it was more like she turned right, ninety degrees four times until she was facing her original direction.

She looked at him.

He looked at her.

She shrugged.

Suddenly everything made sense to the boy. It wasn't hard to figure out who the fuck was responsible for a random act of stupidity when his sister popped the corner.

"Tanaka, you're supposed to go faster than that." Tomoko leaned into her friend, "You have to go fast enough that he sees your panties. Guys love that kind of shit."

Well she did and if it was good enough for her than it was good enough for her brother. Tomoko turned to her sibling.

"Come on, how can you be so heartless when she is trying her best." Tomoko could almost feel sympathetic tears start to form. Her brother was just standing there like a dead fish. "She's only doing this cause I know you'd probably go after some girl who'll flash you her panties."

"Why the fuck would I want to see that?" Tomoki yelled.

"Ya I'm not sure-" Yuri tried to speak. The keyword being 'tried.' Tomoko just shouted over her "What kind of single guy wouldn't?"

Tomoki just gave her a look.

"Oh shit", the older sister feared the worst. "You're not already dating someone, are you? How could you do such a thing without telling me?"

The younger brother made a gurgling sound as if he had two conflicting statements competing for dominous. Eventually he let out, "I don't need your damn permission."

"Hey you punk." Whatever Tomoko's reply was going be didn't matter. She was cut off. "I was thinking the arcade. That's fine with you?"

Steps were heard until a hand patted against the lone guy's back. A tall blonde girl stepped to his side.

Yuri saw Yoshida and then took a hard look at Tomoki. He flinched at the tough girl's arrival but besides that he remained still, too still.

Tomoko raised a finger against the blonde. She sputtered out "Hey, excuse me. What are you talking about?"

"Oh ya, your brother met me outside behind the school building. The two of us agree to go a small trip real soon." Yuri was sure that she saw Yoshida's face get red. Ya, that was definitely a blush. Tomoko grew pale. The sister looked at her brother and than back at the hoodlum.

"You delinquent! I don't care if I end up having to be your servant, I can't let you continue molesting my brother!" Tomoko charged at the much larger, much stronger student.

The result was expected. The loud student spun as she lifted up Tomoko and ram her back against the wall. Yoshida bit the air, "What kind of shit do you think I'm into?"

"Sorry." Any courage Tomoko faded against a superior opponent. She was prepared to release a stream of crocodile tears if need be.

"Besides me and him can't do stuff like that," The delinquent began to shutter, "We'd have to get married otherwise."

Tomoko eyes open wide in realization.

"I almost forgot about that gap moe thing you got going on. Guys are all nuts over that type of shit" The strange girl tilted her head as her eyes traveled down to her bully/friend's skirt, "You're probably wearing panties with some cute mascot on them aren't you?"

"How is that any of your fucking business?" Yoshida began to shake her.

Yuri shook her head, for once she wasn't sure if she had the will to step in and stop a potential murder. She weakly elbow the boy standing next to her. "Sorry about all that."

Tomoki didn't look amused, but he didn't look upset neither, "Don't worry about it. She doesn't usually get other people involved, but this still isn't the dumbest thing she has ever done."

"Have fun with your date I guess." That's what people were supposed to say, right?

"To be honest I was just trying to get her to stop picking on my sister," Tomoki grumbled. "She just thought I was asking for out and now I have no idea what to do."

"You could be honest." Yuri suggested.

The younger guy scoffed, his tone was oddly familiar to her, "Ya right, a delinquent like that would probably try to like blackmail me or something. I better just go along with it."

"You and your sister are very much alike."

"Fuck."


End file.
